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The Coon/Quotes
This page lists all notable quotes spoken by The Coon in South Park: The Fractured But Whole. Field/Story During The Thin White Line * "Wow, dude, that was hardcore." (if The New Kid farts on Jared) During Freedom Calling * "I'll prove my innocence, you assholes!" During To Catch a Coon * "So what, I just have to watch you eat, is that it? I'm not afraid..." * "Guys, I really wish we could wrap this up." * "Hey, I got an idea! Why don't we start looking for the New Kid's parents." * "This is a waste of time. We should going after the bad guy." * "This is so weak." * "Broccoli... I'm not afraid of broccoli. It gets a bad rap, if you ask me." (if The New Kid selects the broccoli during the torture on The Coon) * "Is that a cuttlefish? I prefer salmon myself." (if The New Kid selects the cuttlefish during the torture on The Coon) * "Ugh, jeez! Well, I guess we're done here, huh?" * "Can someone reach around and get this knot?" * "Oh, god, you're not really gonna eat that burrito, are you?" (if The New Kid selects the vomit-covered burrito during the torture on The Coon) * "Oh no. You're not gonna eat that vomit-covered broccoli? It's not organic." (if The New Kid selects the vomit-covered broccoli during the torture on The Coon) * "Oh, hey, come on, you don't really want to eat my puke, do you?" (if The New Kid selects the vomit-covered cuttlefish during the torture on The Coon) * "You're not gonna eat that chili dog, are you? That's not chili on top!" (if The New Kid selects the vomit-covered chili dog during the torture on The Coon) * "Actually the asparagus might taste better with my vomit." (if The New Kid selects the vomit-covered asparagus during the torture on The Coon) * "Ohh, now that's pretty gross, you guys." (after selecting a vomit-covered food item) During Farts of Future Past * "Mysterion? But you're with the Freedom Pals." * "My left hand? For what you-" * "Conner... What the hell are you doing here?" * "Time tunnel so weak, weak, weak..." * "Where are we now, Conner?" * "Why have you brought us here?" * "Don't do this to him." * "Don't go, New Kid! You can't change the past!" * "What?" * "You did it! You stopped your dad! You saved your mom, New Kid!" * "CONNER, NO!" * "I'm the Coon. This is your kid from the future." * "Oh, god! Barf!" * "We're back in downtown South Park! But where is everybody?" * "More importantly - what time of period we landed at?" * "Look, ButtLord!" * "You did it, ButtLord! It's inauguration day! We can still stop Conner from becoming mayor! Let's do this!" * "This way!" * "Guys? You're alive?" * "NO, KYLE! I have no control over Mitch Conner!" * "That's not funny, Kyle." * "Dude, fuck you." When The New Kid shows up in the Coon Lair * "Jesus Christ, ButtLord... You're back again?" * "Oh great, it's Butthole. Yayyy." When The New Kid interacts with the Cube of Ultimate Destruction in the Coon Lair * "You touch it again and we'll all fucking die!" * "Hey, I told you not to fuck with that!" * "Fucking stop!" During From Dusk till Casa Bonita * "Hey, New Kid! Dude, over here!" * "I was investigating an infestation of vampires here at Casa Bonita." * "But then one of them threw me in jail. I need your help." * "I need you to... take a picture of me for my Coonstagram page while I'm in jail." * "Fuck you, asshole!" * "C'mon, I'm not leaving without my commemorative photograph." * "Move the camera into place and let's make some memories." * "Yes, that's it, Butthole!" * "Yes! Now come here." (After the New Kid set the camera in place) * "Nice. That's gonna look awesome on my Coonstagram." * "Thanks, New Kid. I know you're here to stop the Vamp Kids too, and I want you to know, I'm gonna do whatever I can to help." * "Holy shit, the crazy bastard made it." * "Yeah. Butthole's probably in the water level right now." Battle * Selected ** "The Coon approves." ** "The Coon is back." ** "Coon on the prowl." ** "Get cooned!" * Battle start ** "Who wants the first cut?" * Turn start ** "It's finally my turn? Oh, thank god." ** "Welcome to Coontown!" ** "Fuckin' finally." ** "Watch this, New Kid. I'm gonna do something fucking sweet." ** "I have a really good feeling about this, guys." ** "Coon on the prowl!" ** "You're the disease, and I'm the Coon." ** "Oh, this is my favorite part." ** "This is for Scrambles, you bastards!" ** "Prepare to be shredded." ** "Prepare for Cooning!" ** "Dramatic Coon move incoming..." ** "This is gonna sting." ** "Coon Claws out!" ** "Beware of the Coon!" ** "Step aside Coon Friends. Daddy's home." ** "You're not gonna know what hit you, but it was definitely the Coon." ** "Are you a hemophiliac? Let's find out!" ** "Coon on the plate!" ** "Welcome to the last day of the rest of your life." ** "Time to spread some rabies." ** "Time to thin out the crowd." ** "Who's ready to get maimed?" ** "This one's all me." ** "Full disclosure: This is gonna hurt like hell." ** "Avert your eyes, children! The Coon's about to get into some adult situations." ** "I require absolute silence as I stalk my prey." * Turn start versus Buca De Faggonchini chefs ** "Watch and learn, newbie, the Coon's on deck! The rest of you, try not to die." * Turn start versus Chaos Minions, The Hundred Hands of Chaos ** "Your minions are no match for my claws, Chaos!" * Turn start versus Vampires ** "Bad news, bloodsuckers. It's the Coon's turn." ** "I came here to kill vampires and eat sopaipillas. And I'm gonna do both." ** "Abandon all hope, vamps. It's Coon time." ** "This seems like a good time for some sopaipillas." * Turn start, in low health ** "You know, sometimes I feel like I'm the only one pulling his weight around here." * Human Kite turn start ** "Prepare for a vicious squinting." * New Kid turn start ** "It's go time, ButtLord." ** "Don't mess this up, DickBag!" ** "Fuck 'em up, Butthole!" ** "Punch someone for the Coon, FartLord." ** "Hit someone for the Coon, ButtLord!" * Idle ** "Just...need to stand here a little longer... Little longer." ** "Do you hear that? It's the sound of an impending Coon." ** "Man... I'm just really gonna violate someone, you guys, I'm so excited." ** "I'll go when I have everyone's complete attention. Otherwise I'm just gonna fuckin' stand here." ** "I find that if I take a long time planning my turn, revenge is that much sweeter." ** "I need...absolute silence, you guys. Seriously, nobody talk or even do anything." ** "Soon... Soon the Coon shall strike. Oh yes." ** "Let's see, I could give you a vicious clawing... Or you... Or you... Hmm." ** "The anticipation... It's building so high, you guys." ** "These claws are highly infectious, FYI." ** "You could try running. It won't work." ** "OK... Who needs to be Cooned the hardest?" * Self and ally idle ** "Every fight counts, guys. We're building brand momentum." * Ally idle ** "At moments like this, just think, "What would The Coon do?"" ** "OK, look, if you're not sure what to do just hit something as hard as you can." ** "GO!" ** "Hurry up!" ** "You can start doing cool stuff any time." ** "Should I tell you what to do? Would that help?" ** "GO GO GO GO GO! Oh my god!" ** "It's hard to be part of an elite fighting force if you don't take your FUCKING TURN!" ** "No, really, just take all the time in the world..." ** "Jesus Christ, Butthole, I thought you were good at this fart stuff." ** "OK, my Chicken Deluxe Dinner is getting cold, you guys." * Human Kite idle ** "It's not math homework, just do a laser thing." * New Kid idle ** "It's OK, New Kid. I was like you once. Confused, stupid, ineffective. Oh no, wait, that was Kyle." ** "Hey, New Kid. When I don't see you doing any superhero shit, it makes me question your superhero status." ** "Hey, hey FartLord, these idiots aren't going to kick their own asses. Do your job!" ** "Get it in gear ButtLord, I got hell to unleash over here." * Toolshed idle ** "Look, this is not like...Ikea furniture assembly - just drill someone!" ** "Just grab your tool and get down to business, dude!" ** "Coon to Toolshed: Do some hero shit or you're fired!" ** "Toolshed, you've changed, bro. The old Toolshed, he took his turn promptly." ** "DUDE, FUCKING GO!" * After using Coon Claws ** "Oh yeah, this one bleeds real nice." ** "Now go tell everyone you cut yourself manscaping." ** "You'll want to put some pressure on that." ** "Get your mom to kiss that boo-boo." ** "Now imagine I squirted lemon juice in that. Oooh!" ** "Guess crime doesn't pay after all, huh?" ** "A few gallons of club soda ought to take those blood stains out." ** "Hope your immunizations are up to date!" ** "Looks like I might've lanced a whitehead, you're so welcome." * After using Coon Claws on Vampires ** "Better apply a sopaipilla and some pressure on those wounds." ** "Now quit sucking up all the sopaipillas." ** "Guess vampires aren't immune to coon claws!" * After using Coon Claws and Coon Lunge ** "Didn't your mom teach you it's rude to bleed on other people's claws?" * Using Coon Lunge ** "Get cooned!" ** "Coon comin' through!" ** "Make way for Coon." * Using Coon Lunge, The Hundred Hands of Chaos ** "The Coon strikes Chaos at its heart!" * After using Coon Lunge ** "Thanks for standing there like a little bitch deer in the headlights." ** "Cower before your natural enemy. It's the Coon." * After using Coon Lunge on Raisins Girl ** "All day, ladies! I can do this. All. Day." * Using Coon Pounce ** "This might sting." * After using Coon Pounce and Prime-Time Coon ** "Try not to slip on your own guts. I'd hate for you to fall and hurt yourself." * After using Coon Pounce on Vampire ** "Bats aren't the only mammal that can fly." * After using Prime-Time Coon ** "Whew. I'll feel that tomorrow." * After ally attacking ** "Save some for the Coon!" ** "The Coon approves." ** "Cool." ** "Fucking sweet." ** "For best results, target the groin or face!" ** "You knocked that bitch down to Kyle's reading level." * After ally using punching attack ** "That was a thorough fisting." * After Call Girl using Selfie-Stick Strike ** "Nice try, Call Girl. I know this combat stuff doesn't really come naturally to you." ** "FYI: Those pics are now the intellectual property of Coonstagram." * After Captain Diabetes using High-Fructose Death Wave and victory ** "We fuckin' rocked that." * After Henrietta using Cigarette Burn ** "Fucking sweet burn." ** "Huh. A hint of cloves." ** "You're on fire." * Targeted by Satanic Seal ** "That's some real wicked shit." * Targeted by Satanic Seal and Baleful Blessing ** "Sweet, thanks!" * After Henrietta using Satanic Seal on ally ** "Hey, buff me too!" ** "You're gonna buff me next, right?" * After Henrietta using Satanic Seal on New Kid ** "WHAT? Supercharge The Coon, not that stupid Butthole!" * Targeted by Baleful Blessing ** "My forehead feels super hot right now?" ** "Feed me, vamp dorks." ** "Fuckin' sweet." * After Henrietta using Black Mass ** "Oh my god, she totally just tore your souls out and gave them to us, hah." ** "You just got totally fucked by some demon." ** "Nice one, Souls of the Damned." * Targeted by Jetstream ** "I didn't ask for your help, by the way. Just putting that on record." ** "Thanks for the lift and stuff, I guess." * After Human Kite using Wrath of Kite ** "Way to impress the 45-to-54-year-old kite-enthusiast demographic!" * After Mosquito using Skeeter Swarm ** "Dude, you literally suck." * After Mysterion using Demonic Fury ** "You're a loose cannon, Mysterion, but you get results." * After New Kid attacking ** "Keep it up, kid, and we might be friends some day." ** "OK, I admit it, Buttlord - you got some potential." ** "Wow, I am almost impressed." ** "ButtLord's not taking any shit!" ** "Not bad, New Kid." ** "Someone's ready for their spin-off. In Turkish markets, at least." * After New Kid using Brains move ** "ButtLord's coming out blasting!" * After New Kid using Netherborn move ** "You took them to a dark place, Butthole." * After New Kid using Elemental Onslaught ** "Cold, Butthole, I like it!" * After New Kid using Dire Shroud on self ** "Oh, how nice for you, ButtLord." * After New Kid using Dire Shroud on enemy ** "Nasty but nice, Butthole." * After Super Craig using Mega Fist Punch ** "Haha! You bitch-slapped that bitch!" ** "Not bad, Super Craig, but try not to slouch next time." * After Super Craig using Omega Crash Extra ** "Way to use your head. Next time try putting a little heart into it." * After Toolshed using Full Bore ** "Drill, baby, drill!" * After Tupperware using Tupper Tornado ** "Careful there, Tupperware, or you'll fog up your helmet." ** "Always bet on black, am I right?" * After Tupperware using Hot Swap ** "That's what I call affirmative action!" * Targeted by Soothing Showers ** "Don't get my fur wet you guys. This costume is dry-clean only." * After a Timefart ** "Oh my god, the ButtLord fucked you!" ** "Your turn is now property of Coon and Friends!" ** "Haha, you got screwed!" * Attacked ** "You fuck with the Coon, you answer to his friends. Right, guys?" ** "Hey!" ** "Typical dirty tactics." ** "Knock it off!" ** "Bullshit! I call bullshit." ** "Hey! Don't mess with the Coon, dumbass!" ** "Oh, you are so fucking dead." ** "Ow! Didn't hurt." ** "You've wounded the Coon. Big mistake." ** "You've made a powerful and...raccoon-shaped...enemy." ** "I...hardly felt that thanks to the wiry fur that covers my body!" ** "Not cool!" * Attacked, Farts of Future Past ** "Focus on Mitch Conner!" ** "I'm not the bad guy here!" ** "No, I'm on your side!" ** "You're playing right into Kite's hand!" * Attacked by Vampire ** "You're next, you little shit!" ** "You're next, vamp." ** "Hey! Stupid vampires!" * Ally attacked ** "You're looking a little fucked up, there, dude." * New Kid attacked ** "Walk it off, ButtLord!" ** "Quit screwing around, ButtLord!" * Super Craig attacked ** "It'd be a shame if you ripped your sweet costume, Super Craig." * Enemy defeated ** "You deserved what you got!" ** "This is coming together exactly how I planned." ** "Fucked by the long dong of justice!" ** "Oh yeah! Take that, bitch!" ** "Another foe falls before the might of Coon and Friends!" * Enemy defeated, after joining Freedom Pals ** "Another foe falls before the might of Coon and Frie- I mean, Freedom Pals." * After defeating enemy ** "The Coon claims another victim." * Enemy defeated by Captain Diabetes ** "And diabetes claims another victim!" * Chiquita the Gorilla defeated ** "Suck it, Chiquita! There's a new silverback in town." * Vampire defeated ** "Hah! Take that, vamp-douche!" ** "Bye! Hope you enjoyed your La Casa Bonita experience!" * Macaroni Picture used ** "What kind of Jew black magic is this?" * After using healing item on self ** "I feel so turgid right now." ** "I am so fucking healthy!" ** "Now I'm back to peak Coon!" * After using healing item on ally ** "Oh-no, you're not done!" * Burning status cured ** "Great news, I'm not on fire anymore!" ** "And THAT is the last fucking time I will be on fire, thank you." ** "So, now that I'm no longer burning, I need someone to cream my back." * Ally Burning status cured ** "Trash fire's out!" ** "Congratulations, you're no longer on fire." * Healed ** "Coon concentration, enhanced." ** "I do like a good buff. Helps me Coon harder." ** "Ooh, I'm all tingly." * Healed by item ** "THE PAIIIIIIN... Oh wait! It's gone!" ** "I'm definitely living my best life." * Healed and protected ** "Give it to me." * Protected ** "Who would be stupid enough to challenge the Coon now?" ** "The Coon always recommends carrying protection." * Reviving Call Girl ** "Time to wake up and go home, Call Girl." * Revived and Attack Up ** "It's about fucking time." * Defeated ** "With friends like these, who needs assholes?" ** "Tell everyone... I know they loved me." * Defeated by Red Wine Drunk Randy ** "Do not give that fucker his keys!" * Ally defeated ** "What the fuck!" ** "God dammit!" * Henrietta defeated ** "Great, now who's gonna heal me? The Butthole? Fuck!" ** "You better not have died on purpose!" * Human Kite defeated ** "Oh my god, Kyle! Way to embarrass yourself in front of the New Kid." * Mysterion defeated ** "Oh, look, Mysterion's dead again." * New Kid defeated ** "We're going to need a new New Kid." * Toolshed defeated ** "I call dibs on Toolshed's drills!" ** "Quit laying down on the job, Toolshed!" * Attack Up ** "Oh fuck yeah, that's what I'm talking about!" * Ally Attack Up ** "Go fuck 'em up!" * Burning ** "I am engulfed in flames! Shit." ** "Oh, by the way, I'm still on fire you guys, your leader is like burning up here." ** "I'm burning, I'm burning here!" * Charmed ** "Wait, I think I'm with the other team now..." * Chilled ** "The Coon is mostly impervious to the cold. Mostly..." * Lifesteal ** "You got so cooned." ** "Suck it." * New Kid Lifesteal ** "Nice mooching, Butthole." * Ally Regeneration ** "Lucky!" * Victory ** "Once again, the Coon saves the day." ** "I could have done this myself, but I'm glad you're here to watch." * Victory, against Shub-Niggurath, also when Shub-Niggurath devours white meat ** "Oh my god, that was fucking awesome you guys!" * Dialogue ** With Black Vampire, after using Coon Pounce on Black Vampire *** Black Vampire: "Hey, what the fuck you supposed to be anyway?" The Coon: "I'm... The Coon." Black Vampire: "Sorry the what? And you callin' us Vamp Kids lame?" ** With Buca De Faggonchini chef, turn start *** The Coon: "I'm gonna dip my balls in your sauce." Chef: "No! Not...not...not my sauce!" *** The Coon: "The Coon will bring you dastardly chefs to justice!" Chef: "What? We're just making the pasta and the scaloppini!" ** With Buca De Faggonchini chef, attacked by Buca De Faggonchini chef *** Chef: "You want a creme fraiche bukkake with that?" The Coon: "Hell fucking no!" ** With Call Girl, New Kid turn start *** Call Girl: "Freedom Pal or Coon Friend, you're cool in my book, New Kid." The Coon: "Coon AND Friend!!" Call Girl: "Hmm, maybe I'm leaning towards Freedom Pal." ** With Call Girl, after using Coon Claws *** Call Girl: "You're such a savage, Cartman!" The Coon: "You still here Call Girl? Go home already." *** Call Girl: "I bet we'd make a good crime-fighting team." The Coon: "What do you think we're doing right now?" Call Girl: "I mean in real life!" ** With Call Girl, Call Girl attacked *** The Coon: "I felt that one, Call Girl. You're probably ready to leave and never come back, right?" Call Girl: "Ready to kick ass, more like it!" *** The Coon: "Hmm maybe you should call it a day before you mess up your hair." / "Nasty hit, Call Girl! No one would blame you if you just packed up your shit and left, now." Call Girl: "It's more than you could take, Coon." *** The Coon: "That looked like it hurt, Call Girl. You probably should go home." / "Hmm maybe you should call it a day before you mess up your hair." Call Girl: "Nope. I'm good." ** With Captain Diabetes, after using Coon Pounce *** Captain Diabetes: "Looking sharp, Coon!" The Coon: "Damn right, Diabetes." ** With Corey Haim, after self or ally attacking Corey Haim *** Corey Haim: "Stop doggin' me around!" The Coon: "Nooooo thank you." ** With Fastpass, after using Coon Pounce *** Fastpass: "That was pretty cool, Coon. I couldn't even see the wires." The Coon: "Fuck you, dude! I don't use wires." ** With Fastpass, attacked *** The Coon: "You fuck with the Coon, you answer to his friends. Right, guys?" Fastpass: "Avenging you is on my to-do list!" ** With Henrietta, after Henrietta using Cigarette Burn *** The Coon: "Nice one, dragon lady." Henrietta: "Thanks, rat-boy." The Coon: "I'M A COON!" ** With Henrietta, enemy defeated *** Henrietta: "That was satisfactory." The Coon: "Jeez, will you lighten up?" ** With Henrietta, Chiquita the Gorilla defeated *** The Coon: "Suck it, Chiquita! There's a new silverback in town." Henrietta: "I thought you were a stupid raccoon." The Coon: "I thought you were a stupid bitch." ** With Henrietta, attacked *** Henrietta: "Coon's hit. Nobody cares." The Coon: "Oh yeah, like anyone cares about a fat goth bitch." Henrietta: "At least I've accepted it." *** Henrietta: "Poor feral cat." The Coon: "I'm the Coon, bitch!" *** Henrietta: "Oh good, you're still alive." The Coon: "Don't sound so thrilled. Jesus." ** With Henrietta, attacked, To Catch a Coon *** The Coon: "I'm just a bystander here!" Henrietta: "Fuck you, fatass." ** With Henrietta, ally other than Henrietta attacked *** Henrietta: "Uh, are you going to do anything about your friend getting hurt?" The Coon: "Nah." ** With Human Kite, battle start *** The Coon: "Stand back! The real superheroes are here now." Human Kite: "Yeah us real superheroes are here to save the day." ** With Human Kite, turn start, in low health *** The Coon: "You know, sometimes I feel like I'm the only one pulling his weight around here." Human Kite: "Well, to be fair-" ** With Human Kite and Super Craig, Super Craig turn start *** Super Craig: "Who needs to get punched the most?" The Coon: "Probably Kyle." Human Kite: "Fuck you, dude." / "Seriously, fuck you." ** With Human Kite, ally idle *** The Coon: "At moments like this, just think, "What would The Coon do?"" Human Kite: "Probably something stupid." ** With Human Kite, Human Kite idle *** Human Kite: "Just calculating some trajectories. I'll be ready in a sec." The Coon: "God, you're a nerd." ** With Human Kite, after attacking Human Kite, Alternate Universes Collide Again *** The Coon: "I've wanted to do that for a long time." Human Kite: "Screw you, Coon!" ** With Human Kite, after Human Kite using Laser Burn, Alternate Universes Collide Again *** Human Kite: "Ready to quit yet?" The Coon: "Nah, I feel like we should see where this goes." Human Kite: "Dammit!" ** With Human Kite, targeted by Jetstream *** The Coon: "Nice blow job, Human Kite." Human Kite: "Remind me to let you get K.O.-ed next time, asshole." ** With Human Kite, attacked *** The Coon: "You fuck with the Coon, you answer to his friends. Right, guys?" Human Kite: "Yeah, yeah, we'll get around to it." ** With Human Kite, defeated *** Human Kite: "Dead? Already?" The Coon: "Fuck off, all of you." ** With Human Kite, Human Kite Slowed *** Human Kite: "Human Kite, usually so deft and spry, is moving slow." The Coon: "He's deft and spry you guys! He admitted it!" ** With Human Kite and Toolshed, after Human Kite attacking *** Toolshed: "Excellent use of your kite-based powers, Human Kite!" Human Kite: "Thanks, dude!" The Coon: "Jesus, you two, get a room." ** With Mitch Conner, victory, To Catch a Coon *** Mitch Conner: "Hohoho! Guess your super friends aren't so super, Coon!" The Coon: "No! Conner can't win!" ** With Mosquito, character other than Mosquito idle *** Mosquito: "I'm going to build a pillow fort this weekend." The Coon: "That's kind of lame, dude." ** With Mosquito, Mosquito idle *** Mosquito: "Does anybody want my lemon bar recipe?" The Coon: "Shut up about your stupid lemon bars, Clyde!" ** With Mosquito, after attacking *** Mosquito: "First the Coon made them bleed, and then it's Mosquito's time to feed!" The Coon: "Snack on your own time, Mosquito. I'm working here." *** Mosquito: "Can I lick the blood off your claws? Can I? Can I?" The Coon: "No way, dude. That's fucking gross." ** With Mosquito, attacked *** The Coon: "You fuck with the Coon, you answer to his friends. Right, guys?" Mosquito: "You're in my thoughts and prayers, Coon." ** With Mosquito, Mosquito attacked *** Mosquito: "Not gonna cry. Not gonna cry." The Coon: "Dammit, Mosquito, pull it together!" ** With Mysterion, turn start after Corey Haim possessing Karen McCormick *** The Coon: "Wow, how does it feel to know Corey Haim is inside your sister?" Mysterion: "Cartman, I fucking swear to god." ** With Mysterion, after Mysterion attacking *** Mysterion: "Today you crossed paths with the wrong immortal fourth grader." / "Weep not for thine enemies. They're, like, total assholes." The Coon: "God dammit, Mysterion! Would it kill you to be a little more upbeat?" Mysterion: "I doubt it." ** With Mysterion, attacked *** The Coon: "You fuck with the Coon, you answer to his friends. Right, guys?" Mysterion: "Fuck you, dude!" ** With Professor Chaos, Professor Chaos turn start *** Professor Chaos: "Muwahahaha!! Remember this day, for it is the day you die!" The Coon: "How can they remember it if they're dead?" Professor Chaos: "They...uh... Oh darnit." ** With Professor Chaos, character other than Professor Chaos idle *** Professor Chaos: "Muwahaha! Muuuwaaahaaa! Muwwwwaaaa!" The Coon: "The fuck are you doing, Butters?" Professor Chaos: "Practicing my evil laugh." ** With Professor Chaos, after Professor Chaos using Chaos Blast *** The Coon: "Don't blow all your Chaos in one load, Professor!" Professor Chaos: "Don't worry. Lots more Chaos where that came from!" ** With Professor Chaos, after Professor Chaos using Chaos Confuse-O-Tron *** The Coon: "Savor my begrudging respect, old nemesis." Professor Chaos: "Oh boy, begrudging respect! That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me." The Coon: "Yes. I expect it is." ** With Professor Chaos, Mitch Conner attacked by Professor Chaos, Farts of Future Past *** Professor Chaos: "Now did I attack the right one, fellas?" The Coon: "No!" ** With Professor Chaos, defeated *** Professor Chaos: "Aww. The Coon looks like a sleepy kitty." The Coon: "Uh, fucking revive me?" ** With Red Wine Drunk Randy, Red Wine Drunk Randy Chilled *** Randy: "Uh! I think my balls just retracted into my abdomen." The Coon: "I think Stan's dad really wants to kill you, Scott." ** With Super Craig, after Super Craig using Mega Fist Punch *** The Coon: "Not bad, Super Craig, but try not to slouch next time." Super Craig: "Only if you try not to be a dickweed next time." The Coon: "It's a deal." ** With Super Craig, Super Craig attacked *** The Coon: "Try to give a fuck, will you Craig?" Super Craig: "Sure, you bet." *** The Coon: "You gonna start taking this seriously now, Super Craig?" Super Craig: "I doubt it." ** With Toolshed, Toolshed turn start *** Toolshed: "Ready to screw the bad guys!" The Coon: "Hehe! I bet you are." ** With Toolshed, idle *** Toolshed: "Coon, can we get on with saving South Park and stuff?" The Coon: "I'm doing it right now, Super Tool." *** The Coon: "Let's see, I could give you a vicious clawing... Or you... Or you... Hmm." / "Just...need to stand here a little longer... Little longer." Toolshed: "GO ALREADY." ** With Toolshed, after Toolshed using Spiral Power *** The Coon: "I can't believe your dad was dumb enough to lend you his tools, Toolshed." Toolshed: "At least I have a dad." ** With Toolshed, after Toolshed using Drillslinger *** The Coon: "You've obviously had some practice handling tools." Toolshed: "Uh-huh." The Coon: "You know, "tools" is another word for "penises."" Toolshed: "Yep. I know." ** With Tupperware, after Tupperware using Tupper Tornado or Hot Swap *** The Coon: "Let me know if you need your head burped." Tupperware: "That won't be necessary." ** With Vampire Griefer, after self or ally attacking Vampire Griefer, at birthday party VIP room *** Vampire Griefer: "I crave the red juice of eternal life!" The Coon: "It's fucking clam juice and tomato how good could it be?" **'With Jared, after his aides come out' ***“Aides? We have to fight aides? Fucking Jared!” * Unsorted ** "You fucked a lot of minds today, Doctor Timothy, and now you're gonna pay!" ** "Nooooo!" ** "Kyle, I hate you!" ** The Coon: "Mysterion, are you like a goth or ninja or what?" Mysterion: "I'm a wandering soul who can never truly die." The Coon: "Jesus, dramatic much?" ** Mysterion: "Fate guides your claws, Coon." The Coon: "Fuck you, Mysterion. Fate ain't the boss of these fucking sweet claws!" ** "Nice, but the Coon brand still has a higher Q-score than Mysterion." ** "Seldom in the history of cooning has anyone been cooned so hard." ** "Now you've done it! A wounded Coon is the most dangerous of Coons." ** "This move meshes perfectly with my on-the-go lifestyle." ** Corey Haim: "Let's have hot milk and cookies after this!" The Coon: "I have a little room left." Corey Haim: "Hey, let's go to my house! I've got elephants and giraffes, and roller coasters!" The Coon: "Oh man, that sounds sweet!" ** "OK... Well this has been cool, you guys, but we should probably wrap this up soon." ** "You have aroused the Coon." ** "Luckily the Coon is impervious to- Oh, fuck, that actually hurts." ** Wonder Tweek: "Gah! Jesus Christ! You're an animal!" The Coon: "Yes, exactly. I'm The Coon." ** "Dammit, Kyle, you fly around, you shoot lasers, just pick one and let's go on with our lives!" ** "Oh yeah! There's some fucking Coon Justice for you." ** "You practice that move in front of the mirror, Mysterion?" ** "Is it just me or does Mysterion die like all the fucking time?" ** Human Kite: "Ow, this hurts worse than hemorrhoids." The Coon: "Suck it, up, Kyle! Jesus!" ** Human Kite: "Hey, can you guys just give up before we get in more trouble?" The Coon: "Sorry bro. No can do." ** "Dude, you kiss your mom with that proboscis?" ** "Annoying as fuck. Classic Mosquito." ** "Uh-oh. PETA's about to get all over our asses." ** Professor Chaos: "You hit like my grandma." The Coon: "Fuck you, Chaos. That was a brutal attack!" Professor Chaos: "I know! Have you met my grandma?" ** Human Kite: "Hey, Coon, nice of you to give a cosplay option to the plus-sized." The Coon: "Yeah, like for your fat bitch mom." ** Human Kite: "Turns out looks CAN kill, right guys?" The Coon: "No! That is not a Coon and Friends-sanctioned quip, Kite!" ** "Dammit, I didn't kidnap ButtLord's parents!" ** The Coon: "Wow, Mitch is pretty tough, huh guys?" Call Girl: "Fuck you, fatass." ** Call Girl: "How stupid do you think we are, Eric?" The Coon: ""How stupid do you think we are, Eric"... God, Call Girl, you're so annoying." ** Mitch Conner: "Your muscular body makes the most effective human shield, Coon!" The Coon: "I AM known for my super strength, son of a bitch!" ** Fastpass: "This isn't very funny, Coon." The Coon: "Do I look like I'm laughing?!" ** Fastpass: "Why are you making us beat you up, Coon?" The Coon: "I'm not doing shit, dude!" ** The Coon: "Dammit, I didn't kidnap ButtLord's parents!" Super Craig: "I hate you, dude." ** "Guys, I'm really sorry about this. Mitch is such an asshole, huh?" ** Human Kite: "We know you're not really hostage of your own hand, asshole." The Coon: "Oh, yeah, blame the victim. Real cool, Kite." ** Human Kite: "Dammit, Coon! Quit fooling around!" The Coon: "I'm just an innocent hostage here!" ** The Coon: "You know I didn't do that, right? That was Conner." Human Kite: "Give me a fucking break!" / "Oh god, it's so fucking obvious Cartman is fucking with us." ** The Coon: "Man, Mitch Conner sure plays dirty, huh guys?" / "Wow, Mitch is pretty tough, huh guys?" Human Kite: "Cut the crap, dick!" ** The Coon: "Wow, Mitch is pretty tough, huh guys?" Human Kite: "Fuck you, Cartman." ** The Coon: "Guys, I'm really sorry about this. Mitch is such an asshole, huh?" Human Kite: "You're such a fucking liar, Cartman!" ** Human Kite: "This is getting real old, Coon." The Coon: "Yeah, tell me about it. Stop Conner!" ** Mitch Conner: "How does it feel having your friends' blood on your hands, Coon?" Human Kite: "Yeah, like literally ON YOUR HAND, asshole." The Coon: "Dude, it's not me!" ** The Coon: "Dammit, I didn't kidnap ButtLord's parents!" Fastpass: "Just stop, Coon." ** The Coon: "Guys, I'm really sorry about this. Mitch is such an asshole, huh?" Fastpass: "Yeah, right." ** The Coon: "You know I didn't do that, right? That was Conner." Fastpass: "Oh, come on." ** The Coon: "Dammit, I didn't kidnap ButtLord's parents!" Henrietta: "This is such obvious bullshit." ** "My health bar is so big you guys!" ** The Coon: "See, Super Craig, you can emote when you want to." Super Craig: "Emote this." ** "Kyle, you suck." ** The Coon: "You're f'ing cheating!" Mitch Conner: "I'm not cheating, it's the rules." ** Mitch Conner: "Ooh, the Coon's not going to like that." The Coon: "Kyle, I hate you." ** "Kyle, I can't believe how much of a fucking asshole you are." ** "Fucking stop Kyle!" ** "I'M SAVED YOU GUYS!" ** "Way to suck off those enemies, Butthole." ** "Stay with the Coon, dude." ** Kindergartener: "Stupid head!" The Coon: "You're a stupid head!" ** Kindergartener: "It's OK if you need to cry." The Coon: "You're gonna cry!" ** "I'm like super satanic now, guys." ** "Their Chaos powers are preventing me from understanding their speech!" ** Professor Chaos: "I hope that really hurt, Coon!" The Coon: "Come down here and face us, you fucking pussy!" Category:South Park: The Fractured But Whole Category:Characters voiced by Trey Parker Category:Quotes Category:Lists